South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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