I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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