we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
