I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
