As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize