Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
