For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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