actually, I'm a sock model
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
