Small penises have feelings too.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
