just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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