Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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