I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
