All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
