It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
