He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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