In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
splinters make it hard to masturbate
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Randomize
