I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
