Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
