Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
