just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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