So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
