he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
