the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Randomize
