need another drink. this is the easiest way
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
