hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
I deserve this hangover.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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