It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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