i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
