I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Oh god it's open bar.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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