Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
