If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
