how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
i barfeds in our rink
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
Randomize