Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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