we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
