I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize
