Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
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