so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Randomize
