Bisexual people are plain selfish.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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