Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
