Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
A bitchslap is in order.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
