so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize