I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
What drink are we having for lunch?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
