like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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