Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
3pm strippers are depressing
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Omg I joined a choir last night...
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
