Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Randomize
