you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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