you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize