How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Randomize