I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Houston, we have a blender
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize