Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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