think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
you wouldn't come out from under your bed because you said there were six-armed bears everywhere.
ohhh that explains the pepperonis I found in my sock drawer this morning...
no it doesn't.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
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