Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
one might say we're banned from that church
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
