You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize
