My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize