I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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