do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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