like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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