69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
