I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
