okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
i found your underwear in my bra... i dont even remember how this happened.
shit. all i remember is the look on your moms face.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
