is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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