I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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