doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize