drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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