I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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