you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Randomize
