dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
17 year olds will be the death of me.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
