"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Can you repeat that, but with context?
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
