How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
