This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
